Chasing Mr. Unattainable

I was 5 when I realized that tag was one of my least favorite games. I was in junior high when I realized guys never stopped playing tag. I was in high school when I realized you could get hurt chasing someone.

Tag required running after someone that you never quite knew if you could catch. When played with boys it was even more challenging. They were sneaky and too fast for my taste. The minute they were a grasp away, they’d change direction and be gone in the blink of an eye. At times “you’re it”, at times your not, but when you spent that amount of time running the pursuing became a hunt.

I was sipping chamomile tea three weeks ago when I realized I still hated tag. When you are older and a game of tag is what “He” has in mind, then you might as well stop running, sit down, grab yourself a soda pop and let him come to you. It’s cute when you’re five to chase someone; it’s a child’s game then. But if you’re in your twenties and older and he’s still playing tag well it’s simply that: a game.

At times it can feel like you are the only one that is “it” and that the person you are running after is miles away. If he doesn’t call you, text, or email you until you do so how can you possibly think he is interested? But if you don’t call, text, or email how can you expect him to really want you?

It is said that a person of independence who does not need nor wants us inspires our admiration. And admiration is a love potion. But it’s also true that a person who needs us to much inspires pity. And pity, the other side of admiration, is the antidote to love.

And it’s true. We pursue with the hope that he or she will see that we are interested. But when you are the only one showing interest you can appear desperate or needy. Making this game of love even more trickier… even more a risk.

There comes a time when you have to stop, catch your breath, and strut out of the game with whatever dignity you have left. So waste a pair of good shoes with the most sincere wish to finally capture Mr. Unattainable or finally realize that Mr. Unattainable is just that… out of reach…