While on the hospital I heard the most amazing story that touched my heart. Though indescribably heart breaking it reminds you that life will write itself and that ending you thought you had every right to write will be written for you…

There they stood. Both angry over petty things. Over the choice of words of others. In complete disregard of what they both were feeling. She didn’t care for his explination. She was just tired and the argument pushed her over the edge.

“Just leave okay! I don’t want to ever see you again! Just leave!” She screamed angrily.

He looked at her with disbelief, but his pride stopped him from saying anything else. He slammed the door behind me. Mumbling anger in his words as he got in his car and drove off.

She spent the rest of the afternoon spewing over everything that was said. Convinced that her pride was at stake here she convinced herself that she was right. She went through the house spilling all his contents of their relationship in the middle of her bed. Anger had overcome her and there was nothing anyone could of said that at the time would of made her think differently.

She never even noticed the phone calls in her phone. She never even noticed the headlights coming up her drive way. She heard the doorbell, and convinced it was him, she opened the door throwing a box of his things to the person in front her. It took her a couple of seconds for her to realize that it was an Officer.“Mam, are you alone at the moment?” She nodded “Yes”The rest of the words were a cloud “ Mam, we are sorry to inform you that…” And the words trailed off as she heard first hand that her boyfriend had been in a terrible car accident right after he left the house and was now laying in the morgue of the hospital 15 miles from her home.

The impact had been fatal. He had been declared dead on arrival. Her heart stopped. She felt herself gasping for air with out finding any and the only thing she could say was “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!!!” as she put her hands to her face shaking her head. She collapsed on the floor and the pain was asphyxiating she began to hit her knees repeatedly.

Days later after the funeral she found herself on top of her bed, curled into a question mark, in the shirt he left. And she held the locket in her hand, the one he had their initials engraved to. And her eyes were blood shot red. Their fight replaying over and over in her head. The last words she’d screamed at him because she was angry- haunted her. Her body aches but her eyes are wide open. She turns to his side and stretches her arm out of habit to find only empty space. All she wants are words but all she hears is nothing. But her body craves his touch. Her lips crave his kisses. And her soul craves his warmth.

But in the silence all she hears are echo’s of yesterdays. The walls come alive and they scream the past. The rooms re-enact the moment. And she gets lost in a sea of tears. And it doesn’t matter the span of time, the pain doesn’t go away. She just feels like there is a knife permanently stabbed in her heart. The pain agonizing, breath taking, maddening. Like her heart began to beat a completely different beat one that made her restless at all times till she forgot what calmness and tranquility felt like.

“Every day I wake up Miriam, I hope it’s just been some terrible nightmare. One I’ll wake up from. But I never do. I have to live with this for the rest of my days. I have to live with the fact that the last thing I told the person I loved most was “Just leave”. And it came true – he is never coming back. But what I’d give for just one more day. I’d take it back, I’d take it back in a heart beat. Do you know what is to love someone so much and to not be able to hold them ever again? Do you?” She paused.

I bit my lip. After all, what story could I tell that wasn’t being told. She pulled the curtain and sat up in her bed and stared directly at me while I wiped off the tears.“Oh Sweet Girl, you know, I didn’t even mean it. I never pictured every minute with out him in it. But I said it. And I let my pride get the best of me. And he never got to hear the truth. That I loved him. That I still love him with every ounce and being in me.”

I swallowed my tears. Hers was such a sad story. But mine was the one being written. Life is strange like that. Pride is the biggest obstacle to love. If your life where to end tomorrow, or the next day, or 5 minutes from now what was the last thing you said? Did you tell him that you loved him or her? Did you mean it? And like I always say life writes itself and the ending you thought you had every right to write will be written for you. And then what good would your pride have accomplished?

Most people end a relationship because of the pettiest, most fixable situations there are. But they are so blinded by their own pride at the moment that they never realize that the loss they are facing is bigger than they can bear. It’s not till they look back and a huge hole is the only trace left that they realize they let someone who meant a lot go. And then it’s too late. Because love goes, or life happens.

She looked at me “Fix it. Fix it while you still have time. Because it all goes by so fast, and what do you have if you don’t have love?” she said going back to our original conversation. I sighed. And I lay in bed thinking wide awake the rest of the night. I gasped for air with out finding any.

Time is so precious, and we all take for granted. We watch it slowly trickle down the hour glass. And it all goes by so fast. And the more time you let time pass the harder it will be when you realize that you can never get it back. Sometimes the mountain we’ve climbing is just a grain of sand. But we can’t see that past the desperation. And if you choose pride over what your heart is telling you – you’ve just forfeited the game. Its like it is said – sometimes we have to forget who we think we are and acknowledge what Really makes us happy and complete. And if that all along has been the person you let go, then what are you doing to fix it? Would you much rather spend the rest of your life wishing and hoping things were different?

No matter how torn things seem to be there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome as long as we still have time. It shouldn’t take a drastic turn of events to make you realize what is really important to you. Don’t let life get in the way of your happiness. Let down your guard; tear down the walls, because there is no rewind button, no going back. You might spend a lifetime never being able to say what you wanted to say. Never being able to love how you wanted to love. Because once a loss is imminent that’s all there is… a loss.