Love never returns void

Many years ago I wrote a piece on a dear friend of mine. At the time her story unraveled with a heartbreaking ending. But if anything remains true from that story is that she is and will continue to be the eternal optimistic… who always, always believes in love.

She paced back and forth, looking at the door and back at her watch every few minutes. She was nervous and her hands were sweating. Finally to catch a breath she sits down and lets out a deep sigh. And she closes her eyes. It’s surreal to her how years ago this was the exact same spot she last saw him. Where he promised he loved her and that love was everlasting. The last place before their story crashed and unraveled. She never thought shed be back here again after the way it ended. Years had passed and life and time had taken their toll on their story. One she thought was signed and sealed, shelved on a book case and had become dusty with time.

She got up at the sound of the announcer saying the flight had arrived. She looked down at her watch one last time. And said a quick prayer before looking up and walking right into his arms. She looked beautiful he thought. ‘Gosh I’ve missed you’ crossed her mind. But instead they just hugged and looked intently into each others eyes. It had been so long. They laughed and he held her hand as she began to speak nervously.

The next couple of days they spent pouring their hearts out. No longer spreading the blame for what happened but discussing their understanding and their true grasp of things. And just like that their hearts began to beat once again and the story they thought had ended showed instead an intermission and now miraculously a second act.

Their love had failed at a certain point. Failed so bad that it broke them both for a very long time. But here life was giving them another chance. And though statistics pointed otherwise there was love in between their gaze, in the way they talked, in the way he held her. For them love had returned once again. And a couple of months later surrounded by their closest friends they sealed their love with and I do.

We often hear the quote- “When you love someone let them go, if they return to you it means so much more”. My grandmother had her own version of it telling me often “el amor nunca regresa vacio”. Now I can’t say I am a believer of the fact that if you let someone go they will come back to you. But I do believe that love itself will never return void like my grandmother said.

I believe that we never truly hold the ending of a story… that life does. And I believe in love, in pure and honest, deep, and unconditional love. I never did, as ironic as it seems. Me the blogger of love? Yeah, I know. Till now. No, not for my own story, but for others. The truth is that love IS capable of overcoming obstacles, of forgiving deep wounds, and erasing heartbreaking tears and pain. Love is that powerful, that immense, and that glorious. And not because we are extraordinary people who extraordinary things happen to but just for the simple fact that we are blessed to feel and to need it so desperately bad to survive.

And my grandmother in her infinite wisdom is right. Love never returns void in any case. It teaches us lessons, makes our hearts a little bit stronger and our skin a little bit thicker. It pushes our boundaries and breaks down our walls. Makes pride fall into pieces and humbles us to just let it happen.

Now it would be amazing if our fates were sealed, if that person you are missing could just magically reappear and all those bridges that you burned where reconstructed, but well we all know that in our dreams of a happily ever after a dose of reality must be kept to keep a balanced point of view. But it is also true that if it happens, if love knocks on our door again whether it be with your long lost love or with a new beginning we just have to stop running and render ourselves to the most bittersweet feeling of human nature. Who knows? Life might surprise you and instead of a curtain falling and “the end” appearing… all you will have to do is turn the page.

It's love that finds you in the end

Love. I write about it often. I’m no expert in the matter nor do I ever intend to be. I write peoples stories, maybe even sometimes a bit of my understanding or knowledge in the matter. But love isn’t something you can generalize. Its not a one size fits all kind of thing. I guess that’s why you’ll find countless of pieces written about the matter…

“Love. Amour. Amore. Whatever!” She said sighing. “I’m starting to believe love is just a charade, a made up scheme to sell flowers and Godiva chocolate”.

Her friend laughs and says, “No it’s not!”

“I just don’t believe in love anymore. I don’t see how it’ll ever happen.” She says in complete defeat.

Her friend looks at her amused. “Oh, don’t say that. You’ll see, mark my words, you’ll see. It’s when you’ve completely given up that love finds you in the end…”

Love is what inspires epic tales, beautiful lyrics, souls to be lost in tales of poetry …and the most bittersweet feeling of human nature. To be in love is a wonderful beautiful thing. To be falling out or being thrown out of love… well… that’s a different story.

Have you ever failed at love? Epically crashed into love, and disastrously failed? If so you know that losing your heart and not finding a happily ever after can leave you completely defeated. You lose faith, you lose the will to fight, and more than anything you can’t see how your heart will ever mend and or how you will ever fall in love again.

It is when the heart grows so skeptic that you find yourself saying “yea right!” at the sight of a happy ending being portrayed on screen. That a love song- makes you change the station. And that your friend expressing her love and devotion to another- makes you feel completely jaded.

Like Alice in Wonderland, we find ourselves feeling lost when right below us the yellow brick road is disappearing. We lose our way in love and all of a sudden the heart that was once so sure, so confident starts to wonder if you’ll ever really love again.

When you find that you’re that hurt, maybe even that bitter because life, in this case love and your illusion of it let you down … you can swear up and down that you will never fall in love again. Some sign the story and even dare to say they’ve closed the chapter. But it’s true what they say… just when you think your heart won’t mend… just when you think that no one can touch you or move you deep enough for you to care… before you know it its love that finds you in the end.

“Es como tratar de parar el aire…cuando es amor es amor… y allí te quedas”. My mom always says.

Resisting love is like trying to hold back the wind. When its love, it is love… and you have very little say in the matter.

You can fight it if u simply can’t accept it nor feel you want it. But even then, all of your built up walls and theories can come tumbling down when true love chooses to tear them apart. I can’t say it happens effortlessly, no… that’s not true, but you find that all doubt, all skepticism, can be up for discussion. Yes I said it; sometimes we fall in love willingly… other times we crash right into it. But I agree that it is when we are lying on the floor looking up at the sky, counting lost wishes among the stars, and watching the days go by that someone suddenly offers a hand, makes you jump off the edge and almost like magic you are there again… filled with joy, happy that your heart began to beat again.

Fairy tale syndrome would like us to believe that our lives are mapped out. That life comes with arrows and directions at every road, stop, or crossing. That our life has been all ready outlined and that it will never venture into uncharted territories. (That our yellow brick road will never disappear.) But people feel uncertainty and they throw their hands up in the air. They put up a million road blocks to their hearts when their story takes an unwanted turn of events… when they lose sight of their fairy tale ending.

But I believe we write our own stories, the thing is that each time we think we know the ending, we don’t. Sometime’s you just gotta live, stop reading or outlining your life by someone else’s story. Sometime’s you just gotta stop planning your moves… let them happen. Let life, love, happen. You know life’s funny that way. I mean, you might be surprised, once you let go of the wheel… you might end up right where you belong.

Never Been Picked

The following piece is a story written about a funny conversation a friend of mine had, i chose to write it in first person to add enfasis... enjoy:

“I feel his pain” My friend said as we sat on the bench after a long run.

“What?” I said puzzled.

“I said I feel his pain”

“Who’s pain?”

“That kids!” She said pointing to the group of boys on the baseball field.

“Why?” I asked

“No one’s gonna pick him watch”

I looked at what she was pointing and sure enough there was a group of kids about to play a game of baseball. Each captain was choosing the players. One by one the kids lined up, till the last one standing was the boy. He looked with hopeful eyes to one captain than the other. Realizing all positions had been filled, he shrugged his shoulders and slowly began the walk to the bench, where he sat slouching down, resting his chin on his hand.

“See!” she pointed. “No one picked him. I’m like that kid. Alone and unwanted.”

I laughed, “Why is that?”

“The first time I met Joe I thought he was so cute. The next thing I know you’re talking to him."

I laugh... “I didn’t know you were interested in him”

“I’m not! It gets worse. Then I went to Miami with Mary. We sat in first class when along comes the pilot. He was so dreamy. Handsome. Perfect. We both got excited because he talked to us. When we return home, on Saturday, Mary called me to go to a party. You know how much I hate parties?”

“Yea I know”

“So I said no, I pass. Like I always do. Besides nothing exciting ever happens. The next thing I know Mary calls me the next day to tell me that the pilot was a witness!!! And he was at the party and now they are talking!!”

“Oh no!” I said jokingly.

“It was always my dream to marry a pilot and travel the world… that was supposed to be me”. She says overwhelmed. “I never get picked. I hate you!” she said laughing.

“That’s not true!” And I hug her.

“Do you realize I have 11 bridesmaid dresses in my closet… I’ve thrown showers. I’ve died shoes colors not found in nature. I’ve danced with weird groomsmen! I’ve done it all. When is it gonna be my turn?” she says defeated.

“You’re prince charming will arrive one day when you least expect it. You’re turn will come” I said trying to comfort her.

“That sounds like a bad hallmark card you give to your unmarried friends!” she says.

And we both laugh. Because love is like that. We all line up to play the game. Some are first picks. Some find a place to hide when their name is called. Some are the replacement of an injured player. Some are the substitution of a player who has no game. And then there are those who await, slouched on the bench, for the sound of the whistle, for the sound of their name, for the sound of love to say. It’s your turn. Play ball!!

When prince charming detours

Why is it that we are built with the desire to be loved? Appreciated for what we are, tolerated for what we are not. And what in us makes us envy those who have found it so that when your friend shows you her drop dead gorgeous ring makes you wonder where your prince detoured?

In a film love is portrayed so effortless. I mean, it would be nice to believe that one day I’ll walk into my favorite coffee shop and he will be walking out - as we carelessly spill our coffee and offer a million apologies. Our hands will touch. Our eyes will meet. He will smile, I will gleam. Music will play and our lives will be forever intertwined… but life doesn’t happen that way.

While talking to a friend who is in her early 30’s, she sighs as I tell her of a mutual friend’s engagement. She looks at me and says “Where is my happy ending?”

What do you do when Prince Charming seems to be taking longer to arrive?

Do you buy a neon light in the shape of an arrow pointing towards you?

Do you wear a t-shirt that says “Desperate”?

Or do you like Snow White hope, dream, and sing that “someday (your) prince will come…”