“It didn’t make you noble to step away from something that wasn’t working; even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem, chances were you could also be the solution. The only way to find out was to take another shot.” – Sarah Dessen

“Maybe letting someone go is the best chance you have for them to come back?” He asked me.

I know what he wanted me to say. To give him a sure answer that she would come back. That it was that simple. I’d always been that person for him, the one who reassured him against all odds. But in that moment every cynical bone in my body wanted to speak out and say: “Love is a load of crap, Run.” It’s funny how altering a personality can be after a series of failed relationships.

But instead I looked at him intently; I bit my lip, as I do in deep thought.

He’d recently come to the realization that the person he loved most in this world was the same person he hurt most. They’d had a relatively short but very passionate relationship, with high emotions, and incredibly high standards. It failed. On his end. It was his fault. It was a series of reasons but that’s not the point. The point is that he let her go, even tried to move on, only to realize that she had always been the one. It’s like my “dress theory” I always talk about. By the time he came back to the first store where he saw the one item he couldn’t find anywhere else… she was gone. And it tore at his being. He the guy, who never showed emotion long enough to get hurt, was left struck, exposed, vulnerable. So this was where he was at now, trying desperately to win her back, with dwindling faith.

“Well is it?” He asked again as if he thought I hadn’t heard him.

“That’s impossible to tell. But I know this much. Life is very, very short. This is it. This is no rehearsal. You’re living it right now. And you must fight for the one you love. Because, what if tomorrow never comes? What if you never get another chance to tell them exactly how you feel? I despise that phrase “If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was.” Because it’s like saying let FATE decide for us. Love isn’t Fate. It requires chance and opportunity and choices, very emotional, but nonetheless choices. But not Fate. So give it your all before you back out. Try as hard as you can. And if in the end you must walk away, then do so with a clean conscience, knowing you did everything you could.”

He sighs “I’m just so tired of being sad…”

“Well then change this road block into a turning point. Win her heart again. Do not give up. You’ve never given up. Why start now?”

“Because it feels like I don’t have any strength in me, I feel so weak, and I don’t think I can. How do you win someone’s heart again?”

The conversation trailed off as we bounced ideas off each other. Him longingly taking each piece of advice as if it was a floating device.

“Whatever you do, don’t! And I mean DON’T show up to her house on a white horse to serenade her!” I said jokingly. And he laughed for the very first time, in a very long time.

Later that night I found myself within a sleepless night. I thought about my own past, my lack thereof triumph. The fact that it was ironic that, I, the woman with the least amount of success rate was the one always asked for advice. I chuckled at the irony, as I sat down and wrote.

The truth is I don’t believe in fate. But I do believe in love. As crazy as it sounds. Yes! The girl that sucks at relationships, and ironically writes about them for a living, does believe in love. I’m the most optimistic skeptic you’ll ever meet. Because as startling as reality can be, as emotionally expensive it is to go against the odds, it is detrimental to the core of our being to continue to have faith. For all the tumble in our experience we still must have hope. And love, deep, and honest, TRUE love… well that can conquer anything.

Because it’s not an imperfection or a weakness to let it bring us down to our knees, it’s a quality. It comes from a greater power. One bigger than ourselves and all the mistakes that we make with our relationships. But that doesn’t mean you should take it for granted, like it’s up to the cosmic universe for things to fall into place for you. Because it is the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. Because in the end when something is difficult to come by, you’ll do much more to make sure it’s even harder, or impossible, to lose…

So here’s to happy endings…